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Streaky

I know my tendency. If I have a great streak going, (on anything, for example getting enough exercise), if I fail to meet my goal for a couple of days in a row, then I'm highly likely to stop striving for the goal altogether. So right now this attempt to start blogging daily again is in jeopardy. For example this morning I had to go get my blood drawn, which is another story, but I missed my normal time to write.  I was able to jump back into my routine of showering and eating breakfast, but blogging fell by the wayside for a few hours. Fortunately I'm doing it now, and hopefully I can come up with some worthwhile insights. Insight number one: something is better than nothing, so if I can do something that feels like it at least sort of checks off the box of the goal, I should do it. Insight number two: we can't all be LeBron James and score 50,000 points in our career, but we can learn that the best ability is availability, so we have to show up. Insight number three: rout...
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Did I sell it?

Well, I sold my skateboard for 20 bucks, and my snowboard for $125, so there's a little bit of progress. And I listed the three things I mentioned yesterday, and I came up with a way that I might be able to keep the bike in the family if it doesn't sell online, so that's progress as well. Perhaps today's word is progress. Progress is in the eye of the beholder, although it clearly implies movement in a direction. I guess what's in the eye of the beholder is whether that direction is preferable or not. In my mind it's clearly preferable for me to be getting rid of many larger pieces of clutter in my life, especially if I can make a little money from them. A big part of progress is chipping away consistently. And progress relates to habits because if you can make making progress a habit, you're sure to make plenty of it. And so, I'm once again trying to make it a habit to blog daily. Both to get the juices flowing, and to get into a mode of working, or at ...
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Wake up, you need to make money.

Last night I journaled about it, and this morning I am planning on it. I'm going to sell some more of my stuff. I already have way less stuff than I once did, but more of it has got to go. Especially duplicates. I have two Sun lamps. I rarely use either of them, so I'm going to sell the nicer one. I have a smartphone gimbal which I have never even used (other than to just turn it on and make sure it works). That's got to go. But the one I'm sorry about is my bike. I've been thinking about it for a long time. It's got to go. I don't need a bike that is half as nice as the one I have. And I need the money. If and when I make more money I can always buy a similar bike again. I believe I've been called to steward all the things in my life. And the time. Right now I'm not stewarding the things I have well because I'm spreading myself too thin. (I have too much stuff).  And I'm not stewarding the time well either because I'm not scheduling a pr...
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What if I actually?

Created something daily!? Something good. Perhaps the blog would be the thing to try again. Perhaps it should just be a blog for a blog's sake? Or perhaps I should focus on my new Christian album. Or perhaps I should get a normal job. Or maybe some combination of all of them. I don't think I'm cut out for a normal job, perhaps I should get disability if I could. Perhaps I don't deserve it. There's a lot of things in my life I don't deserve. Some good and some bad. Perhaps the cards just fall where they're going to fall. Perhaps that is mixing metaphors. This air filter is quite noisy, perhaps it needs to be cleaned. Perhaps I'll make some more fizzy water. Perhaps I should go on a longer walk today. Perhaps I should get the psychiatrist to give me a drug-induced lobotomy so that I can function in this society, even if I do have to become a robot.  That's it for today, no podcast recommendation, because as I said, maybe I need to blog for blogging sak...
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Stillness is what we're after

"Catch yourself not thinking ... Thinking cannot tell you who or what you are." - Eckhart Tolle. There is a easy chair in the corner of my parents' dining room. From this chair one can sit and soak up the sun. The dog can lie on the foot rest and keep one's feet warm, and the wind chime right outside the window can marginally increase one's auditory experience. You could say it's a slice of paradise, so it's no surprise that we argue over whose turn it is to sit there.  This chair is a place I often sit to forget my problems. To catch myself not thinking. To win the game that is not thinking about the game. To need a jolting alarm to bring me back to the real world. This jolting alarm is often the dog alarm. She hears something I can't even hear and goes nuts. And yet most of the time she sleeps more calmly than I do. Oh for this ability to sleep soundly and peacefully and yet to operate fully the second the call of duty comes. What we would all give f...
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That's not an Uber

 I would be a bit tempted to drive for Uber, but I can't because my car only has two doors. I guess I could do Uber eats or something else like that. What I really need to do is just actually work for myself. There is plenty to do, and some of it actually makes money.  I just listened to a book summary that argued that extrinsic motivation can be harmful. I think I agree. The drives I talked about last week, the appetites, are intrinsic. How then can we adjust the appetites without having to call that adjustment 'extrinsic motivation'? It's all a semantics game after all, but it's a semantics game worth playing I think. Like how reverse psychology totally works in certain situations.  I'm parked next to a stone wall, and I have the sudden realization that life is more like a stone wall than a brick wall. In the end you're going to end up with a wall, but to begin with you're probably going to deal with some irregularities. On the other hand our days are ...
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All things

 The Tao that can be named is not the eternal Tao - loud Sue  I'm here on our easy chair and the dog is asleep on my feet. The sun is coming in the windows at an angle that is better even than a sun lamp. I am catching my rays for sure.  I am planning to go to church as soon as I finish writing this. I have not written in a month, but for no particular reason. It's not that I didn't have anything to say. I have been working on several songs, vacationing, and continuing to raise Jamie. It seems that some tasks never go away once you sign up for them. Perhaps that's what I want to focus on today. Appetites. If we can change our appetites, our drives, then we can change our actions. We don't want to try to get ourselves to go to the gym. Rather we ought to try to get ourselves to want to be in better shape. Then we might go to the gym automatically. I don't know why people use the gym as part of their metaphor so often. Let me put it a different way.  I like quick ...
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