14: Struggle

Well, it looks like I'm not going to get a podcast done this week (slight chance I'll be wrong about that)... Maybe I can at least do a blog post... 

It's a Thursday afternoon... I did a couple of productive things this morning (therapy and life coaching), but since lunch time I've stalled.  I've been so depressed on-and-off recently that I get paralyzed just expecting the negative thoughts to come back.  

I said this in last week's podcast, but in case you don't listen regularly... I'm finally considering ECT (electro-convulsive therapy... aka shock therapy).  There's some stigma around it, but the idea is really a good one... They're creating a seizure in your brain... using it like a reset button... like restarting your computer when it gets sluggish.  I've thought for years that a brain reset is what I need.  Seems that is what I'm trying to do with all the hypersomnia... if I could just sleep long enough, maybe I'd wake up cured.  Actually, I read about a doctor who used to treat his patients with extended medically induced comas... Apparently he had some success with this approach, and it seems to me that society threw the baby out with the bathwater when they totally x-ed out his ideas because he ran some sketchy experiments on his sleeping patients.
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I should probably at least pick an old Hold That Note episode to recommend this week... I will indeed do that once I get back to the land of Internet.  What song would be appropriate... perhaps 'War In My Soul'... I wonder what I paired that one with...
I can't seem to find it on the podcast. This is one of the weak links of Spotify for podcasters, there doesn't seem to be a very good way to search the entire catalog of my podcast. So anyway, here is a link to the YouTube video I made for 'War In My Soul' 
https://youtu.be/CrNjGhlvVPE?si=GRMLw3fvweCitw3z
And here is the song on Bandcamp if you'd prefer that:
https://lightninglucas.bandcamp.com/track/war-in-my-soul
And, if you want to listen to a podcast, which I hope you do.. check out last week's episode here: Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: 115: First ep. directly from the cabin: 'Trees' & 'Consider the Lilies'  https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/holdthatnote/episodes/115-First-ep--directly-from-the-cabin-Trees--Consider-the-Lilies-e2id69n

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